The best you can be.

This past week was a doozy, after the camping trip the kids were just so out of sorts, then J left and i had to try and sort it all out to get us all back on track. It was tough and I lost it a few times. Im a firm believer that kids smell weakness, mine are all over it like a bad rash. We were all unhappy, we were all whingy and i had no time alone to pull my shit together. I'd try and console one child into happiness but the other would want a piece too, this lap definitely cant hold two babies who are fighting over where to sit. I was constantly being touched and pulled in every what direction. Someone always wanted something and sometimes i can deal with it, take a deep breath, grin and bear it but that week, i couldn't. I needed space i needed a shower alone, i needed to eat  whole hot meal. So i cried, i cried alone and i cried to J. I complained to friends who bought me over wine and company. It didnt make things easier but i was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and appeciate my support systems so much.

Three sleeps till daddy comes home, two sleeps until kindy starts again.

And we made it and as I look back I can see that it was just one of those weeks where you have to tread water just to get through, these weeks happen but it makes me appreciate the amazing weeks we have. Its funny how my life is managed by weeks and not days, its one week while J is home and then another week that he is here. Its like one whole week is a monday and the next is a friday-saturday-sunday.

After the week of hell, it got me thinking about what makes me happy and what makes me feel good and be the best me i can be.

Im the best me when

I wake up before the kids to have a hot cup of coffee in silence.

I go to the gym 5 days a week.

I have a clean house.

I eat amazing tasting food that makes me feel equally as amazing.

I can tuck my babies in to bed knowing theyre happy and safe and I've done all i can in that day to make them feel loved.

There's a million more things i could write that would probably bore you to death but these are my top five, they are simple things that make all the difference.