Motherhood

I saw this post over on Jen loves kev and thought it was great, so here's my motherhood list.

My motherhood is

..saying I'll eat well today but grabbing a muffin because mama comes last.

..cars (the movie) on repeat and having 'life is a highway' stuck in my head.

...never showering alone 

...always thinking I hear a baby crying

...reading books to Seb without ever looking at the words because I know them off by heart

...being tired 

...wanting nap time to come then missing them when it's quiet

...never being able to sleep until I'm ready to wake up, most days I open my eyes to a toddler quietly staring at me as I sleep, creepy.

...no personal space but loving hugs

...trying to hand express into a bathroom sink at a hens party because I've been away from my baby for 6 hours and my tits are about to burst all over the bride 

On my lonesome

I hate being super busy but I also hate feeling like I've done nothing. I think it's more that I don't like being lonely. I've always got my two little people for company but there's only so many times I can hear about lightning McQueen and peppa pig before I loose my marbles. 

When J is away I get the worst anxiety thinking about how I will fill my days. I'm slowly realizing that there's not too much I can't do on my own with the kids but it's certainly easier with an extra set of hands and someone to ask for a second opinion.

I'm learning to cherish the moments I have one on one with the kids. As much as I don't feel like playing on the trampoline at 5 pm, I'm getting off my butt and doing it because it makes Seb happy. 

Daisy has been showing more and more of her cheeky personality lately and it excites me when I get to sit and make her giggle or watch her splash in the bath.

I'll never get these moments back with them so I'm teaching myself to stop saying 'no' so much and wollowing in my loneliness because I'm never truly alone when I have my babies.