This afternoon, everytime i spoke to seb he asked "are you angry?" I brushed it off thinking its just something he picked up, kids say the darndest things, etc. But then it got me thinking, was i angry?
Truth was i was most likely annoyed, pissed off that there was playdoh all over the floor, cranky that i had to ask a million times for it to be packed away and then ended up doing it myself because "no one in this house listens to me!!"
Then the kids have the audacity to ask me to do ten things at one time for them! How rude, right?! But on the third seperate time Seb asked if i was angry, i felt bad. Super duper guilty even.
Ive been struggling with my anxiety so bad lately, trying to do so many things at once, trying to please everyone and never saying no. It drives me crazy, literally, we all suffer for it, the kids mainly because i do seem angry. Then a particularly annoying song was sent into my brain from the heavans, let it gooo, let it goooo.
So simple right!?
I got my calming essential oils, that i sniff like a coke addict, and chant let it go. And you know what, it actually helps. The playdoh can stay on the floor until the kids go to bed, they can miss a shower tonight and i can reply to the five text messages later. Just let it go.
